Feathered Friends Fight for Right to Flight
Cape Town Seagulls soon to Require Government Flight Certification.
The Directorate of Aviation Authority today passed into legislation a new directive that will see minimum proficiency standards required by all seagulls flying within city limits. The move comes on the back of a long running frustration in which various governmental and parastatal organizations have expressed concerns that the wild bird population is not keeping pace with Cape Town's standing as a major global International tourist destination. First and foremost is the danger that unqualified gulls pose to civilian and commercial aviation interests. The paraglide associations is anticipated to welcome the move as gulls get in the way of their activities - especially commercial tandem operations. Instances of gulls defecating onto unsuspecting foreign tourists is the cause for much concern - negatively impacting visitor statistics and hitting beachside businesses in the pocket. Under the scheme, breeding pairs will be monitored via high resolution CCTV cameras to be placed at all known breeding grounds. Juveniles will be removed from nests and put through a 3-week battery of minimum flying standard assessments for skill sets. Those individuals unable to earn their flying wings will be euthanized. Successful candidates will receive a brand mark on their chests that permanently removes feathers in a pattern that is easy to identify from a distance. Government sources insist that branding process is entirely painless and not traumatic in any way to the birds. Adult birds found without flying insignias will be netted and put through an accelerated course. Funding for the project will be drawn from a new 3% "Visitors Support Tax" to be applied to all levels of personal income tax in the Western Cape during the next budget session. Spokesman for tourism Mr. Norfolk Nklu says they are very excited about implementing the scheme with immediate effect. Important hospitality skills can be taught to previously disadvantaged communities, who would receive a per-individual bird payment for unlicensed gulls brought to centers around the city. Teams of gull monitors, trainers and catchers will shortly begin an advanced course in avionics on Robben Island. Upon qualification they will be stationed along the entire coast line, generally working at night with laser beams to drive gulls into waiting nests to be erected along all possible coastal access points.
Unfortunately, training for an advanced flying certification for those individuals that fly over the Waterfront and Atlantic Seaboard will not be available for at least 2 more years. This will mean secondary capture and additional flying insignias will have to be undertaken at a later time. In the envisaged advanced course, gulls will be taught evasive maneuvers to avoid collisions with drone photographic vehicles, increasingly used by foreign tourists to snapshot Cape Town from the air. Government officials have rubbished advice from bio-conservation watchdog organizations that insist that birds do not need flight training and should have precedence to the skies. Official spokesman for Mr. Dombe D'oose, speaking on behalf of the Aviation Authority pointed out that birds that choose to fly beyond the city limits may, for the time being, do so without an official avian aviation license marking. "Without a minimum flight standard, we do not know if parent birds are taking the time and due care to teach their offspring correct technique. In addition, we now have technologies that these birds have not yet learned about. Learner birds must simply prove to us that they are capable of flying properly - particularly in the strong South East wind conditions that plague the Cape. Wind tunnels are to be set up to assess bird wind-sheer skills. The pilot project is anticipated to be expanded during the summer season of 2016 / 2017 to include other species of problem birds.
